


Let There Be Light

by MarcieJay



Series: Of Strength and Renewal [1]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of the tapes, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, Gen, Justin Foley is Getting Adopted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 02:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcieJay/pseuds/MarcieJay
Summary: Justin Foley hated the sun and all of its light.   Justin also loved the sun, its light, and its warmth.





	Let There Be Light

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing. This is my first work in over 10 years. I watched both seasons this past week, and the depth in which these characters have been captured is captivating.

There were days when Justin Foley hated the very sun that lit up the earth. 

Bright, loud, perpetually mocking him with its ability to reveal even the most remote of places to the naked eye. No place remained for lies to hide and truths to stay hidden. Clay Jensen may be suffering just as much, if not more, than most through the aftermath of Hannah Baker’s death, but there was no denying it. 

Clay was the sun personified. He revealed, exposed, shined light into places and people that would have rather stayed in the dark. Once the light catches you, you can’t really skulk back into the darkness. 

It’s a little like those video games he always played with Zach and Monty. As the character moves forward on the hidden map in the game, the path lights up and can forever be seen. Sometimes it brings treasure. Sometimes ruin.

Clay’s posting of the tapes changed nothing. Yet, Clay’s posting of the tapes changed everything. 

For Justin, it seemed as though it revealed him to Cresmont in all the ways he tried to hide. As a star member of the basketball team and popular student at the Liberty High, Justin wasn’t really hiding, per se. But people only see what they want to see. No one sees the cracks, the holes, the chasms into your soul unless you show it to them. Or they manage to catch a glimpse of the dark you’ve been trying to hide. What better way to reveal the dark than through the exposure from light?

The light revealed many things. 

Dark: Justin had a loyal pack of friends, also jocks, that always had each others backs.

Light: Justin was a coward who let Bryce Walker rape his girlfriend. 

Dark: Justin would never run from a fight as he would face it head-on. 

Light: Justin would rather run at the first sight of major trouble. (Which, admittingly, he did.)

Light has a funny way of doing that, so there were days when Justin hated the ever revealing, brightness of the sun. It reminded him of what he has lost in the safety of the dark.

However, there were days, far more of them now, when he wished he knew how to harness the light of the sun and sincerely hoped he could learn to accept its warmth.

The Jensen family was adopting him. 

For Justin, feeling too exposed from all the light (and the lack of heroin), the entire experience was surreal. Confessing to the police, juvenile hall, a heroin addiction, preventing a suicide or murder, the almost-school shooting, Justin’s life had no shortage of faults within it. Of course, this excludes the junkie mother and her long string of abusive boyfriends. How can Justin ever really allow another parental figure to care for him when his own mother rejected him for the highs of drugs and the pain from men who wanted nothing more than to destroy whatever the drugs left behind? 

Lainie Jensen was a godsend. Ever patient, but firm, Justin could see the light in her eyes as she looked at Clay. (As if a light source was really in need of more light.) Justin pretends not to notice, but ever since he accepted the idea of being adopted, Lainie’s eyes have lingered on him for a half-second longer than usual. He’s almost certainly ignoring what could be tears in her eyes along with a smile she’s holding back. He’s definitely ignoring the pure light she shines in his direction. Strong and steady; Justin would die before allowing himself to be the reason that light dimmed. (For Clay’s sake, of course.)

Matt Jensen was more difficult for Justin to truly understand. For one, he never seemed to really yell. Or swing fists. Or empty bottles. Matt walked into a room and it was like getting wrapped up in a heating blanket. Heavy, but safe. Warm, but allowing you to move from the source of heat while always being available if you wanted it back. It was a new experience for Justin. All the men in his life only ever brought pain and the cold. Warmth and safety was new.

Of all sources, Clay was certainly the brightest. (The sun, remember?) There were times when it seemed like Clay would burn out and collapse into a blackhole of grief and anger, but he always managed to find his center. 

Justin hated Clay for the longest time. Now, he can’t believe he never really noticed Clay before. When Clay walked down the halls of the school, you saw him before you saw him. Like a fluorescent hue came first, then you actually saw Clay and his group of friends. The light seemed to catch too. The people who spent time around Clay seemed to pick up parts of that same source and carried it with them too radiating through the halls of Liberty High. 

Justin really wanted that. He wanted to spend time just soaking in the rays coming from Clay, and be better. Be brighter. Spreading warmth. Feeling warmth.

But today is not that day. 

Today is cold and miserable, so today Justin hates the sun despite its position in the sky. 

Today, he will hang out in the hallway at school (certainly not to experience a flood of light from Clay and his posse). 

Today, he will pretend to do his homework at the table at the Jensen house (definitely not so he could meet Lainie’s eyes full of love and brightness directed towards him). 

Today, he will give up on homework and watch a movie in the den (it had nothing to do with the fact that Matt had taken up space in there to complete work from the college, and now the room never seems to be cold). 

No, today is not that day.

 

The forecast for the rest of the week reads ‘sunny with clear skies’.


End file.
